The Lull

Special Uniform [2]
Originally uploaded by sweetmilktea

Poor Miss Claudia has been very neglected as of late. I feel quite guilty about it; she hasn’t become any less of a beautiful, wonderful creation–I just haven’t given her the attention she deserves. I don’t have an excuse for it, nor would I want to make one.

As a ball-jointed doll, no matter how lovely, is ultimately an inanimate object, I don’t really think that she can be “neglected” in the truest sense of the word. I don’t consider doll collectors who have their items only on display or carefully stored away to be neglecting their dolls. However, on a personal level I dislike failing to utilize something to its utmost in accordance with how I feel that item ought to be utilized. I don’t keep clothing that I don’t wear, no matter how much I love the design or suspect that maybe perhaps someday there might be a reason to wear it. I don’t store non-perishable dry goods infinitely in my cupboard; if it isn’t eaten/used within a reasonable time period and I have no plans for that item, I donate it. Toy items that aren’t played with or reasonably admired find new homes. Books that sit on the shelves for months at a time look for new owners from a library’s fundraising table. There is nothing I keep to excess.

This posed a problem in terms of Claudia. On the one hand, she is my very first doll, and I have quite a sentimental attachment due to that. Seeing just a picture of Rosette Doll’s beautiful Spring term Violet prompted me to purchase a ball-jointed doll, despite the fact that seeing and holding other dolls hadn’t piqued my interest more than minimally. I firmly believe she is the most beautiful ball-jointed doll I have ever seen; her loveliness is not diminished to my perceptions in the slightest. Despite all this, I just didn’t play with her in the manner I had envisioned. Her personality, dear to me thought it may be, prevented that kind of interaction. When I realized that Mortimer, my stuffed shark who was a $5 impulse buy at IKEA, meant more to my heart than Claudia, I knew that something would have to change.

Originally, I planned to keep her. She is beautiful, and I love showing her to others, hoping they will appreciate her charm and consider welcoming other Rosette Dolls into their lives. The craftsmanship is amazing, and the little details add an abundance of charm. I thought that I would simply buy another ball-jointed doll, one with whom I could amuse myself for light-hearted fun, and preserve Claudia as a special treasure to be packed away with other mementos of my past and photographed occasionally. I couldn’t bear the thought of putting her up for sale, left to the whims of the purchaser. She’s still very important to me in a way that I have a difficult time explaining.

However, I found someone who will love her and use her for what she is (far more than I have been able to). I look forward to sending her to a new home where she will be appreciated in more than just words and thoughts. I am still rather worried, but I can only hope that I am making the right choice.

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